what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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