hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Randomize
