i already hear my dad disowning me
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
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girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
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He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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