help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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