i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize