yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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