even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
