My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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