I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just found puke in my bra..
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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