I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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