here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
