To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize