the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
