Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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