I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
