I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
