I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
