I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You're like the curious george of whores
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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