just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
