last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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