Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
