All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Say something about gay babies.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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