She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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