You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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