Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize