I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
