toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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