mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize