my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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