I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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