i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
