remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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