Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
