I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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