I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
