is your mom at the bar?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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