Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
