but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
