dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
