you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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