I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
