yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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