I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize