i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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