whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
