I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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