Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
