im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
