I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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