my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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