i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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