I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
