Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
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