i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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