thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
whose parrot is this?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
