after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
