butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
